Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Muse-it to me.

Fester, fester, fester. Rot, rot, rot.*

I've been an MIA blogger for the past two months. Fortunately, this does not mean I've been an MIA human for the last two month. Life goes on, and busily (I have a button that says 'here before blogs' - I concur.) However, I'm looking forward to returning to a regular life-and-blogging schedule (The clouds and perma-grey season that's rolling into Portland will support me in this endeavor).

But, my excitement over publishing this first post in a couple months has left me frantic and without a single idea. Suddenly, my fingers are all thumbs. "This better be good," I tell myself. Then I fester.

So, this ramble is an attempt to break down the writer's block (or whatever you'd like to call it). Here, in no particular order of importance, are some experiences I've had over the last two months.

Storm Large (randomly) reminded me how important it is to have confidence and take chances. She managed to do so while showing quite a bit of cleavage. / My grandpa died just short of his 65th wedding anniversary. The only thing I've been able to conclude from this is that sadness and loss has a quiet beauty. / I turned 30, which I'm celebrating wholeheartedly, as my 20's did not go according to plan; I'm hoping I can scrap the false-hopes and disappointments, and use the "lessons" as fuel for something bigger and brighter, and unimagined. / Speaking of brighter, I saw Bright Star last week, directed by Jane Campion. A stunning, lovely film. / This has taken up most of my time the last few months, and was pretty damn successful. And I started to see myself as a leader (maybe this, too, is something that I needed to be 30 to realize is possible?)

So, there it is. A completely self-absorbed, fairly pointless post. But we're clearing the stage for that damned muse, remember? Reveal yourself, now, please.

* There it is, the only time I will every quote Meg Ryan, or the movie French Kiss. Promise.